“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character”

How do we become ready? Ready to have God do something for us? These are hard questions with uncomfortable answers, and so, rather than answer them I often misread this step, leaving out the word ‘ready’, changing ‘god’ to ‘myself.’

I am used to trying to tackle my character defects head on, by myself. Coming out of Step 5 – or any time in my life where I get shown that my behaviors and the attitudes that underlie them are causing problems – I tend to find myself thinking ‘Well, I’ll fix that. I’ll just stop doing …’. I start to follow the well worn path into a swamp that can be best described as ‘breaking a habit.’

You’d think I would have learned by now. I tried to ‘break’ the drinking ‘habit’ – without any success whatsoever – and wound up in A.A. I have had about the same amount of luck with anything else I have tried this method on. Relying on willpower, and doing it alone are the defining characteristics of this way of doing things … along with gritting of teeth, grunting and straining, and images out of a Bruce Willis movie. These all have a somewhat rancid and sweaty smell, underneath a cloying odor of denial aftershave – a ought recognize by now as the scent of the wrong direction.

But somehow, I read Step 6 and translate the ‘have God remove’ into ‘have me remove’. Leaving aside all that messy and uncomfortable talk about ‘God’ stuff, suffice to say that it is a huge leap in the right direction when I realize (again, and again, and again…) this step is talking about a power other than myself removing my defects of character.

And, it is another huge leap in the right direction when I actually see the word ‘ready’

So the first challenge in this step is to change the question I ask myself after reading it from “How am I going to exert enough willpower to change myself?” to “How do I become ready to let a power outside myself help me change?”

In order to be ready to change – and to have a character defect removed means to change an attitude or behavior – I have to be ready to do something different – I have to be willing.

And cultivating this willingness is the hardest part It is my unwillingness that blinds me to how much choice I really have day-to-day.

I am confronted with a situation that makes me angry because I feel threatened. Is it possible that the threat is coming from my fear-based thinking and not what the situation? Unless I am open to this possibility I will not change – and will not be able to have the defect of angry reactions removed.

Someone asks me to do a piece of work a different way. Can I take this as a suggestion rather than hearing them saying I am wrong? Unless I am open to this possibility, and willing to hear it this way, I will not change – and will be unable to have the character defect of insecurity removed.

There is a situation that I am uncomfortable with, and in the conversation a lie would it a little easier all around. Unless I am open to the possibility of speaking honestly, and willing to try it, I will not be able to change, and will be unable to have the defect of dishonesty removed.

So, in my mind, the practice of Step 6 is the practice of open-mindedness and the practice of willingness.

I need to be open to the possibility that there is another way, and be willing to choose it when the opportunity presents itself.

I do not have to know what defect should be removed, or how it will be removed, or even who will remove it. I do not have to try to break that nasty habit. I simply have to be open to the fact that there may be a different way, and have enough willingness to try it. In this manner I can become entirely ready to have any defect of character removed, by God, or whatever power there may be out there.